- The Dating Game: How Jehovah's Witnesses Meet their Match
- Dating a jehovah witness man
- Jehovah witness beliefs dating outside religion
She drinks, she will pretty much watch or read or play whatever, since she's not uptight about that kind of stuff. She is really an all around awesome girl, and her religion is not really discussed at all unless i bring it up. There are things that I think may be an issue down the road however.
Of course, the belief of no sex before marriage is pretty strong. This includes any kind of sexual activity, although I think it might happen, but I'm not counting on it. There is the whole not celebrating Christmas or anything like that, which kind of sucks for family gatherings and things like that.
All that being said, I am an atheist, but I do respect her beliefs even if I don't agree with them. I try not to let stuff like the holidays bug me but I can't help it sometimes. I was wondering if anyone has had to deal with something like this, and how you think I should go about handling it? Jehovah's Witness goes beyond the usual religion and is widely regarded as a cult. If she stays in, you will have to convert or the relationship won't work long-term.
The Dating Game: How Jehovah's Witnesses Meet their Match
They are pretty liberal about a lot of things they don't prohibit alcohol as you mentioned , but all family members must convert or be shunned, and the "Elders" have the final say in your life in a way a priest or reverend or etc. I have a lot of experience with them because they had several JW families in my neighborhood growing up, and I always invite them in for tea or such when they come by evangelizing. They are not scientologist-level cultists and are not known for kidnap or murder, but they have some bizarre beliefs inaccurate end-of-the world predictions, Jesus is the Arch-Angel Micheal, every instance of God's name replaced with "Jehovah" in the Bible, no birthdays or Christmas or other holidays, most other religions are satanism, etc.
I'm sorry but I wasn't asking for a biased opinion on Jehovah's Witnesses but for help on how to deal with my relationship. I know enough about the religion since she is very open to it and has explained it to me when I have asked. I personally hate referring to a religion as a cult since there is no clear difference from a mainstream religion like protestantism, to something like JW's or Mormons.
Doesn't matter how long they've been around, they all still believe in a God. Yeah I worded that wrong. What I meant to say is in definition a cult can be used to define any religion. In any case, I wasn't asking for your opinion on her religion, but on our relationship. Man, I'm not here to discuss your dislike of Jehovah's Witnesses. Although all of those are very reputable sources, I am not getting into this. Sorry you misunderstood, I have no dislike of Jehovah's Witnesses and often invite them in for tea.
You have gotten into it by dating that girl, and you seem to have come here to seek reinforcement and encouragement.
Dating a jehovah witness man
I have friends and family who are or were JW and I also studied with them for a few years. They aren't as bad as you say, they don't force conversion or anything like that. At the congregation in my hometown, for example, probably half the families had only one practicing parent.
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Maybe you knew a couple extremists, you'll find those in any group, but they aren't representative of the whole bunch. More so I knew former JW's who complained a lot, and I saw the effect their religion had on the families in my neighborhood child abuse covered up by the "elders. There was no "couple," I have known maybe 20 JW's over the years and around the world. They find me in nearly every flat I move to, and nearly always make it in for tea and conversion. Thus far I have made better progress with the converting than they have it helps that my family and I love to read the Bible ;.
As an ex-jehovahs witness now atheist myself I can give you some serious insight into this unlike most speculative advice you will be given in this thread from others. The real question is whether or not she is baptized. If she is baptized, things get much stickier and really you should go your own way. Baptism limits how far the negatives that the church can impose on her life go.
If she is baptized and is found to have committed "serious wrongdoing" drugs, fornication, etc or gross misconduct repeated use of cigarettes, masturbation, pornography then she can be disfellowshipped which is basically a shunning from all her friends and family that she knows.
If she is not baptized, the worst they can do is "mark" her as bad association among the congregation and most witnesses will avoid spending time with her outside of church, but her family will most likely stay with her. Her dating a nonwitness is a big problem for both her church and her parents. They will at all costs attempt to break her relationship with you and prevent it from going further. That said, understand that once you are married, their entire focus will change to converting you to becoming a JW.
Also, with regards to the elders, people are so full of shit sometimes. I have heard of elders in some areas doing some pretty fucked up things, but all in all their involvement in your relationship is how much you let them be involved and the general culture of that congregation. Many groups of elders simply will just leave you alone after a while if you express no interest to them or the religion. Understand that they have an obligation to "shepard the flock" and keep her active in the church, but other than that and them trying to catch her if she slips up and commits sin, they will usually stay at a distance.
Thank you so much for this. This is good to know and I'll try to find out. She has explained a lot about the religion to me already since we are very open about this. Its one of the reasons I think this could work out. I think the biggest issue is definitely the family, and how we will tell them eventually. Thank you for this. A heck of a lot more useful than people talking hateful shit due to their dislike of JW's. Your differences will become a bigger issue as time goes on. In the beginning it's always super easy, you overlook your differences.
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Right now you're thinking "maybe this no sex thing isn't a big deal" and right now it isn't. In a year it will be. People have a tendency to try to change each other rather than accept each other.
She's liberal for a Jehovah's Witness, which is to say, not liberal at all. Once it becomes to talk marriage and kids you will be pressured to adopt her worldview in a big way. Thank you for your insightful generalization of ALL Jehovah's witnesses. Obviously they are all religious nutjobs. Therefore my girlfriend cannot possibly be "liberal at all. Look, if you wanted advice to confirm your already held notions, just ask yourself and have a nice little conversation in your own head.
Jehovah witness beliefs dating outside religion
Never mind the fact that I have dated people of several differing religious backgrounds and have seen first hand how the whole "religion is no big deal" seems true in the beginning and a year in it's causing constant arguments and conflict. People almost always try to change each other when there's a huge difference in core beliefs. My comment was based on the fact that someone who refuses to entertain any sexual activity shouldn't be considered liberal, and the fact that you're going out of your way to minimize your differences because you're lovesick and not thinking clearly.
Cult is a stupid word to describe a religion simply because it is unfamiliar to you. That sounds like a completely different situation. Please read the actual story instead of immediately jumping at the words Jehovah's Witness.
I was merely saying be careful. If you see no sings or warning of a cult then disregard that part of my reply. I didnt generalize, I simply said be careful, cautious and watchful. If you stay with her long term, either you will convert, she will leave and be shunned or you will break up. You should talk to her about this now. The majority of those following the faith in Germany hail from the Ruhr region, which is densely populated and has relatively high unemployment.